In my last blog about Zombi 2, I said I really didn't have much to say about it. Pieces I have astoundingly even less to say about.
IT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.
Never before has a tag line said so much and yet so little. Never before has a trailer so artfully hidden just how stupid the movie it is promoting really is. Yeah, I said it. Pieces is relentlessly stupid, but damn if that isn't how you promote a film like this. That is the basis for its appeal. It is so stupid and incoherent it is worth twice the price of admission. I can all but guarantee that if you haven't seen it before and you can handle a more than healthy amount of creepy, off putting gore and are the type of person who can laugh at anything, Pieces will be one of the most fun filmgoing experiences you will ever have. Especially if you are already drunk (or in the process of drinking on the sly).
What little of the plot there is surrounds a lunatic with a chainsaw stalking the streets of Boston (actually Valencia, Spain, which from having grown up in Boston I can safely say looks nothing like what you see on screen) in hopes of recreating a lewd jigsaw puzzle that was taken away from the killer as a child. And that's really about it for the plot.
Once again, we are in the realm of European horror this film has dubbing so bad it makes Godzilla films look nuanced. It has an amount of gore that makes the likes of Piranha 3-D and Zombi 2 look subtle and nuanced. The editing is so piss poor, with many scenes (or pieces as they appropriately feel like) managing to go nowhere and be incoherent at the same time. It makes Pootie Tang seem like a finished film.
Oh, and what scenes there are in this film. Be sure to watch out for the swimming pool death scene, a bit where a character repeatedly screams “bastard” while looking like she was waiting for Slugs director J. Piquer Simon to yell cut, and an ending so ludicrous you would think the last reel of the film somehow got mixed up with a different film starring the same actors.
Pieces: It's Exactly what I said it is.